Present

It starts the same as every other time:  biting his fingers. Soon Baby Bee is shaking, screaming and flapping—all the usual things associated with a meltdown. I can handle all this.  Staying calm during trying times is my specialty for whatever reason.

 

"No Thank You!"

Recently I needed to stop by my office at work to pick something up and I had to take Baby Bee along. He was more than reluctant to go because of "the people" there. He came up with a number of alternate plans (he could stay home, he could go to his caregiver's house, he could wait in the car) but the reality was he had no other choice. He was paralyzed with fear. So rather than dragging him against his will, I did what all parents do--I bargained with him. 

Lazy Mama, Crazy Mama

"I'm just a lazy mama! I don't over-think it. I don't really plan anything. I just go with the flow and don't worry about it."

You mention this in response to almost everything I say about Baby Bee. About how we "do life."

I know you don't mean anything when you say it.

Adventures with Literal Baby #5

A sweet cousin of Baby Bee's gave him some of her old books, including a fun book about 10 Little Monkeys Jumping on the bed. Pretty much a guaranteed hit.

Yep, that's right. A hit.

Let me back up.

Adventures with Literal Baby: 4

During in-home therapy today

Therapist:
 Ring, Ring.

*no response*

Therapist:
"Babybee the phone is ringing. Pick it up" 

Adventures with Literal Baby: 3

*During the 3am to 9am awake shift with Mr.Bee*

Babybee:
 "Papa, don't close eyes"

 

Mr.Bee:
 "I won't. I'm awake with you"
 
*a few seconds later*

Babybee:
"Papa don't close eyes!"
 
Mr.Bee:
 "I didn't, little buddy."

Babybee:
"yes. Papa blinked. No more blinking"
 
Mr.Bee:
"uhhhh...."
 
*Babybee proceeds to scream every time Mr.Bee blinks*


Lesson Learned: provide a caveat for autonomic nervous system functioning next time you agree to anything.

Baby Memorization Trick: 2

Recitations of lengthy passages from Fox in Socks.

Favorite lines at the moment:

"I can't do it, Mr. Fox, sir...
I'm so sorry, Mr. Knox, sir
Here's an easy game to play
Here's an easy thing to say"

Stop by anytime for a performance. Shows start approximately every hour, with extra performances around any transition (sleep, car rides, waiting for food, etc).

Adventures with Literal Baby: 2

Me:
"Wow. Check out this SUNLIGHT!"

Babybee:
"No. Don't like. Turn off."

 Me:

"The sun is a star. No one can turn it on or off."

Babybee:
Yes. Sun. Light. Turn off light.

It's Not Your Fault

Come close and listen. Stop thinking about the grocery list and the phone calls you didn't make, and everything else that is on your mind right now. This is important.

I have a secret to tell you.

It's not your fault. 

That's right. 

It's not your fault. 

Latest Baby Memorization Trick

Knowing all the names of the characters in Guess Who.

(and having to say "goodnight" to every.single.one. every.single.time he goes to sleep.)

Love and Cupcakes: An ABA Update

When you have a child with special needs, you have lots of decisions to make that you never planned on making. We've struggled with knowing which therapy interventions to choose and which to pass over. Especially ABA, one of the most common treatments for people with autism.

In our family, we have strong values about what it means to be a whole, authentic person and how we should treat one another. We have Brene Brown's parenting manifesto hanging on the wall of Baby Bee's room. We strive to be gentle, child-led parents, who practice emotion coaching and regularly engage in our floor time therapies. We try to say "yes" more than we say "no", and save our "no's" for when it really matters or when it doesn't matter at all, but we have a really strong personal preference. We let Baby Bee eat re-fried beans off of two plastic horses rather than spoons, because, well, what do I care if that's what he needs to do every. single. time. he eats re-fried beans? At least he eats them.

So when it comes to choosing a therapy that is different than our family's usual approach, we've had to do a lot of reflecting.