A year ago my water broke with a trickle around 4am. I wasn't having any contractions so I figured it would be a while before I had a baby in my arms. At 9am I completed the art project I had been working on and insisted Mr. Bee hang it in our bedroom above the birth pool (which I refused to let him fill since I was "probably dayyyyssss away" from having a baby).
Then we went berry picking for 3 hours in 90+ degree weather.
I was convinced we needed strawberries for jam.
Well, the berries went bad in the heat on my kitchen counter because labor started later in the evening and Baby Bee was born early the next morning.
He came out screaming and didn't stop (or sleep!) for several hours and soon impressed us with strong preferences and will. Little did we know this was a sneak peak into our next year. :)
Parenting Baby Bee is one of the hardest things I've ever done. It challenges me daily and has changed me immensely. I used to roll my eyes at terms like "special needs" because they sounded so euphemistic and cheesy but I get it now. It's special not strange. Different not bad. And sometimes it just is.
I'm humbled by the care of our of our community and thankful to know the vulnerability of having to rely on others after very much being a do it myself-er all my life.
And each night before I go to bed I look at my art project and take a deep breath reminding myself that we CAN do hard things. And indeed we already have.