Adventures with Literal Baby #5

A sweet cousin of Baby Bee's gave him some of her old books, including a fun book about 10 Little Monkeys Jumping on the bed. Pretty much a guaranteed hit.

Yep, that's right. A hit.

Let me back up.


Let's start by saying it doesn't help that I call him "Little Monkey" as a nickname. We asked our therapists to just count the monkeys and not read the words of the book aloud knowing what might happen. And we asked our caregivers to do the same--or at least we thought we did. Turns out we forgot to pass the memo to one. So Baby Bee was soon "jumping" (read: stumbling) on the bed narrating his every action, "Baby Bee. Monkey! Jump! On Bed!" followed by a very determined, "Fall off. Hurt head!"

When you've dealt with real self-injurious behavior in a toddler before, this is almost cute. Except the part where he is upset because his pain tolerance is so high and he didn't actually feel hurt in his head despite his best attempts. Still, we let it slide because the counting of the monkeys is oh-so-fun even if the book poses a more-than-average risk of real injury. C'est la vie, right?

After we've read a book a few times and the story line becomes rote for Baby Bee, he begins a forensic examination of the pictures. We've learned that often what he sees is different than the words describing the picture. In the case of those poor Little Monkeys, Baby Bee has solved the mystery. What mystery you ask? That cover up story about how those Little Monkeys got hurt. Everyone knows Little Monkeys don't get hurt by falling out of bed (recall: theory previously tested).

So who did it?

Mama. She's been hitting them all along.

I was stunned at this reasoning for why the Little Monkeys were crying. We are a peaceful family. Pretty much pacifists. How could this be?

So I did that veiled "Why-on-earth-would-you-think-that?" line of questioning that went something like, "Oh really? Hmm. That's interesting. Tell me more about that. What did you see or hear or feel that made you think that?"

And then he showed me the proof. Photographic evidence. 

Admittedly, Mama does look like she could be hitting Little Monkey. I tried to explain that instead of hitting she was trying to comfort Little Monkey. This further confused matters and lead Baby Bee to the conclusion that hitting was a form of comfort.

So tonight I sneaked the book off the shelf and posted it on our local Buy Nothing Group. I sort of feel bad for gifting another parent a book filled with self-harm and family violence. So far folks only seem excited about how much their kiddos love the song and can't wait to have it as a story. I guess they haven't seen the pictures yet.